i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize