Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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