Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
