so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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