So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
