You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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