I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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