You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
