Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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