are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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