Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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