I need help removing her.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
