i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
