I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
