Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
