I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think my mom watched the whole time
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
