I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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