yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
