Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
