just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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