is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
