i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize