Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
