She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Randomize
