Are we in a gay sports bar?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
