someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
