We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
