Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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