therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
