Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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