Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
