when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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