He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
