i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
