Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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