I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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