im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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