i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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