i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
