i permit you to call me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
