Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
