I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
