I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
wow bdsm is so cute
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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