my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
