Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
