I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
