I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
