does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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