Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
