he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
